Episode 176: Toughness Takes Practice | Lexi Demott, Galesburg Girls Basketball Head Coach

What if mental toughness isn’t something athletes either have or don’t have—but something coaches can intentionally develop?

In Episode 176 of The Mental Mettle Podcast, I sit down with Lexi Demott, Head Girls Basketball Coach at Galesburg High School, to explore that question. Her approach goes beyond telling players to “be tougher.” She defines what toughness looks like, gives athletes tools to practice it, and brings those lessons into everyday conversations, drills, and competition.

The message at the heart of this episode is simple: You can’t expect athletes to do something you haven’t taught them.

And teaching it once isn’t enough.

From Galesburg Player to Head Coach

Lexi has experienced Galesburg basketball from several perspectives. She played four years in the program, continued her basketball career at the University of Dubuque, and returned to Galesburg as an assistant under legendary coach Evan Massey before becoming head coach. Now entering her third season leading the program, she has already built an impressive record of success.

Her first two seasons included back-to-back Regional championships and a 28–5 finish in 2025–26. But this conversation isn’t primarily about the wins. It’s about the intentional work behind developing athletes who can respond when things become difficult.

Lexi also works as a dean of students, a role that informs how she sees the young people entering her gym. They aren’t arriving as blank slates. They bring the experiences of an entire school day—tests, relationships, frustrations, and responsibilities—with them. She recognizes that preparing athletes to practice sometimes means helping them navigate those experiences first.

Why “Be Mentally Tough” Isn’t Enough

“Move on to the next play” is familiar advice in basketball. As a player, Lexi heard it herself, particularly as a shooter who needed to keep shooting after a miss.

As a coach, she now asks a deeper question: How do we actually help an athlete move on?

In our conversation, Lexi explains why mental toughness needs clear language and specific behaviors. “Focus,” for example, means more than looking at a coach during a huddle. In her program, it includes taking the information from that huddle and applying it on the floor. “Aggressive but smart” means distinguishing between purposeful effort—such as consistently boxing out—and a frustration-driven foul.

That specificity gives athletes something they can understand and practice.

Instead of leaving toughness as an abstract expectation, Lexi connects it to the decisions players make throughout a practice or game. The conversation challenges coaches to consider whether their own athletes could explain what mental toughness means within their program.

Creating Routines—and Room for Connection

One of the most practical parts of this episode is Lexi’s attention to the transition from school to basketball.

She changes pre-practice partners so athletes interact with different teammates. She puts messages on the board to prompt thought and conversation. She asks about their day and keeps practice routines predictable, recognizing that the hours before practice may have been anything but predictable.

These aren’t elaborate additions to an already crowded practice schedule. They’re intentional choices about how practice begins and how teammates connect.

Lexi’s approach offers a useful question for coaches: Before asking athletes to be locked in, what are you doing to help them get there?

A Buddy System for Difficult Moments

Lexi also shares a simple teammate-support strategy that stood out to me.

Players were paired with a buddy and given time to develop a signal they could use when they felt emotionally unsettled. During practice or competition, a teammate could offer that signal as a reminder of support. Lexi describes how the exchange often led to a small smile or laugh that helped the athlete respond differently in the moment.

What makes this example meaningful is that it doesn’t require athletes to pretend they never struggle. It gives them permission to recognize a difficult moment and a practical way to connect with someone who understands.

In Lexi’s program, support and toughness aren’t competing ideas. They’re part of the same developmental work.

Knowing When a Challenge Stops Being Productive

Coaches want athletes to work through discomfort. But when does continuing to push stop helping them learn?

Lexi shares a story about a demanding team layup drill. Her players were struggling to meet the target, and she could see their frustration building. Rather than continuing to repeat the drill and pile on consequences, she moved practice forward and returned to it later.

When the team tried again, they succeeded. Then they discussed what had changed—including more deliberate passing and attention to the details that made the drill work.

The standard hadn’t disappeared. The approach had changed.

That moment opens an important conversation about failure, coaching judgment, and the difference between challenging athletes and keeping them stuck in an unproductive cycle. Lexi’s example shows how a coach can revisit a difficult task without making every unsuccessful attempt a reason to push harder.

Toughness Requires Repetition

Near the end of our conversation, Lexi acknowledges that she’s still learning, too. Sometimes she gets frustrated, and an assistant reminds her that the team has only recently begun working on a skill. They need more time and more practice.

That honesty reinforces the episode’s central theme: mental skills deserve repetition, just like basketball skills.

Lexi integrates mental-skill conversations into competitive drills, pauses to teach in the moment, and revisits ideas throughout the season. A classroom session or preseason discussion can introduce the language, but it can’t be the last time athletes hear it.

For coaches, this episode is an invitation to move from expecting toughness to intentionally developing it.

What You’ll Hear in Episode 176

Our conversation explores:

• Why telling athletes to “be mentally tough” leaves too much unexplained.
• Creating shared language around focus, effort, emotional responses, and teamwork.
• Helping athletes transition from the school day into practice.
• Using routines and teammate connection within a program.
• Recognizing the contributions of players doing thankless jobs.
• Knowing when to push through a challenge and when to change the approach.
• Using failure as an opportunity for reflection and improvement.
• Reinforcing mental skills through everyday practice—not just occasional speeches.

Listen to Episode 176: Toughness Takes Practice with Lexi Demott. If you’re a coach who wants to do more than simply tell athletes to “be tougher,” this conversation offers practical examples worth bringing back to your program.

Connect With Lexi and Galesburg Girls Basketball

Follow the program:

• Facebook: Streaks Girls Basketball
• Instagram: @streaksgirlsbasketball
• X: @streaksbball

Develop the Mental Side With Mental Mettle Coaching

Mental Mettle Coaching works with athletes, teams, coaches, and schools to develop mental skills for performance, leadership, and responding to adversity.

For coaches looking to make this work more intentional, Ember to Inferno: Building Mentally Tough Athletes offers coaching development through in-person seminars or virtual small-group coaching. It focuses on practical tools and methods coaches can use to develop their athletes rather than simply wish for a tougher team.

Learn more at mentalmettlecoach.com, or contact Coach Matt Thomann at coachthomann@gmail.com.

For sports parents, The Resilient Parent’s Playbook is a free email course with practical tools for supporting athletes without taking over their development. Topics include praising effort and attitude, navigating the car ride home, and helping athletes manage nerves and pressure. Find it through the episode’s show notes.

If this conversation resonates with you, please like, subscribe, and share Episode 176 with another coach, parent, or athlete.

Keep learning. Keep growing. Keep forging your mettle.