Episode 168: It's Supposed to Be Hard. How to Use Adversity in Athletics to Build Mental Toughness.

What if we stopped trying to protect athletes from adversity and started teaching them how to use it?

In this solo episode of The Mental Mettle Podcast, Coach Matt Thomann takes on one of the most important—and often misunderstood—parts of athletics: adversity. The pressure, mistakes, difficult practices, losses, disappointment, and setbacks athletes face are not simply obstacles to get around. They can become the very experiences that build confidence, resilience, perseverance, and mental toughness.

Sports are supposed to be hard. That is part of what makes them meaningful.

In Episode 168, Coach Matt explains why athletics can be one of the best places for young people to face real challenges with relatively safe consequences. A missed shot, tough loss, reduced playing time, or difficult practice does not define an athlete’s future—but each can become an opportunity to learn how to respond, adjust, and keep going.

For athletes, the challenge is to stop asking, “Why is this so hard?” and start asking, “What can I learn from this?” Hard experiences can become evidence: I was nervous, but I competed anyway. I failed, but I came back. I wanted to quit, but I didn’t. That evidence is what builds lasting confidence.

For parents, the episode offers an important reminder: support your child through adversity without rescuing them from every difficult moment. Acknowledge that the struggle is real, listen well, and help them focus on what they can control—their attitude, communication, and effort.

For coaches, Coach Matt discusses the responsibility to make adversity purposeful, not punitive. Great coaches challenge athletes, but they also know when to stretch them without snapping them. High expectations work best when they are paired with high levels of love, connection, and trust.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

• Why adversity is necessary for growth—but must be handled wisely.
• How athletes can turn hard moments into confidence-building evidence.
• Why parents should support the struggle instead of solving every problem.
• How coaches can create productive discomfort without punishment or humiliation.
• Why the best coaches pair challenge with connection.
• How athletics prepare young people for the unavoidable adversity of life.

The goal is not to make kids suffer. The goal is to help them discover that they can do hard things.

Because we do not use adversity to create better athletes.

We use athletics to create better people.